I don’t know why it is so hard for me to write these blog entries. But, Lord help me, I’ll going to keep trying.
I’ve been learning a lot – beneath the surface. That seems to be the way God works.
I always want him to do the easiest work first (e.g. lose the weight), but God keeps reminding me that he is working to make me whole. I need to look deeper.
Honestly, I think I ‘m healthier than I’ve ever been, despite looking like the opposite on the outside.
My heart is healing, and I’m learning to let my desire for health lead – from the inside out.
Learning to eat healthy foods – just because it is good for me, and not because anything may happen on the scale.
I’m being disciplined with my exercise behaviors, even trying to hit that 150/minutes per week mark (as recommended) – just because.
I’ve been running – regularly. Always surprised to put running and my name in the same sentence.
I’ve been asking God to forgive me from bowing to the idol of the scale. I always thought that if it said that I was ok, then I was ok. Its approval was what I thought I needed. God gently reminded me that I need to change that perception.
I was running in the gym the other day, and this older gentlemen told me, “good job, sister.” I almost cried.
And yes, pizza. Even been doing my best to limit my purchase of it to every other week. My love for it may also be changing too. Not what it used to be.
Yes, in total, I am healthier. Learning and walking with God, and waiting for the beauty of the work on the inside to be reflected on the outside.