Yes, you read that correctly – I have started to run.
I am just as shocked as you may be; running was never something that I believed should be part of my exercise regimen. I still think I was holding on to images of my past – horror stories of running in elementary and middle school, and my mental scars about its challenges when I weighed 250 pounds. Well, since I don’t weigh 250 pounds anymore, I think I can let go of some of those fears. I’ve been working out pretty regularly for over a year now. I think I can manage it.
I first started running last Friday, and I continued the momentum during my workout this morning. I still wouldn’t say I particularly enjoy the experience, but I was proud that I did it and got something new accomplished.
It was shortly after my work out that I realized the accomplishment was not in my running this morning. What I think I needed to applaud was the fact that I chose to unlearn some of my old fears, and allowed myself to move forward. To not continue to be defined by things that I “used to believe” or that I “used to do.” A commonly known Bible verse says the following: “If any man be in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has gone; the new has come (2 Cor 5:17).
There are times I want to be this new creature and others where I would rather continue to be the Rachel I know. Not only is it easier, but I don’t’ have to keep running to these challenges that are scary, and stretching. I don’t have to keep doing things that I don’t have a blueprint for; I’d much rather do those where I can say “I’ve been there before”. “I know how it goes”. Kind of like believing that I don’t run because . . .well, because I just haven’t.
Truth: I can run, I’ve just be afraid that the experience would be so unpleasant that I decided to avoid it for many, many years. Truth: I’m growing up – letting go some of my “old Rachel” ways, and allowing myself to be prepared for something greater. Truth: The process isn’t that fun all the time, but I’ve just got to do it. That’s what it means to mature. And honestly, isn’t it just time for that?
Here’s to moving forward. . .