Have I ever told you how much I love pizza? Those who know me well often laugh when they ask what I’m having for dinner or lunch, and I quickly reply that it is something from either Pizza Sola, Papa John’s, or the local pizza place in my neighborhood. Since I found out I was pregnant, my love for pizza has grown tremendously. At times, I’ve had it twice a day, and have even considered continuing that routine for the next day. It has truly gotten out of control. :-).
One night last week, as I was contemplating/wrestling whether or not to eat a veggie wrap or order pizza, I received a phone call from my doctor. She called to let me know that I had failed my glucose screening test, and I would need to take the three-hour long test determine whether or not I had gestational diabetes. As I hung up the phone, I was in utter shock. Except for the pizza, I generally watch my diet, and had even been limiting my intake of sweets (God helped me on that one). As I sat on my living room couch, ingesting the news, I quickly realized something: I likely would have to cut back on my pizza intake if I was diagnosed with diabetes.
My heart started racing. If the news of possible gestational diabetes was not enough to shake me, learning that I might have to limit my pizza threw me over the edge. I sat on the couch for at least 30 to 40 min. and I just could not get over that I would not be able to have pizza. You would have thought someone I loved had become seriously ill or I had realized someone had stolen a prized possession. I was totally sandblasted by the possible news.
I could not even pray about it, as honestly, I did not want to even hear what God had to say on the matter. However, I gently felt his voice pushing through my despondency, and I heard him say," no more pizza." Umm, what? I kept asking him over and over again – just to make sure I heard correctly. The answer remained the same. God spoke clearly and told me that there would be no more pizza for the remainder of my pregnancy.
The next morning, while spending time talking to God, he directed me to the first chapter of Psalms and revealed to me the reason why pizza and I would have to separate for the next several months. The passage reads like this: "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law doth he meditate day and night."
As I finished reading the passage, I instantly knew what God was trying to address. Over time, I had found a new love, and while laughable, my relationship with pizza was beginning to cross over into territory that should only be reserved for God.
For those of us who have struggled or continue to struggle with our relationship with food and weight, you may find yourself empathizing and relating to my story. If you’re being honest, how often are you delighting in food? How often is your joy being made complete at the thought of "eating this or eating that?" Taking pleasure in food is one thing, but falling in love is totally different. Enjoying a good meal is one thing, but worshipping is another. And as long as I’m in love with food, my ability to be free, maintain a healthy weight, and follow God will be limited. God makes a promise to me if I manage the worldly things that I find "delight" in: "He should be like a tree planted by water, that bears fruit in its season, and whose leaf does not wither (Psalm 1:3)."
I don’t know about you, but I definitely need to firm up some of these roots. I’ve allowed pregnancy to enable my focus to get a little loose. I have allowed the excuse of expected cravings to give me permission to indulge in behaviors more commonly associated with how I felt before I was able to lose the weight. I did find out that I do not have gestational diabetes ( yay!), but will be pizza-less for the next 12 weeks. Let’s pray God will complete some much needed work during this period.:)